So, being at the alumnae ceremony today, and hearing Kim & Jenna's amazing heartfelt speeches made me recall my alumnae ceremony and what I felt was important to say at that time. The vast majority of it still applies, interesting how most sisters feel the need to get across such similar messages when they go alum. The overall theme is almost always YOU GET OUT OF IT WHAT YOU PUT INTO IT!!!!! I put SOOO much into Delta Phi Epsilon, but what I got back was worth 100xs more than what I put into it. I do not regret, and would not change one minute of my time in Delta Phi Epsilon. I met, and am still meeting, the MOST amazing people!!! I love you guys!!!
My Alum Song: The Cheers Theme
Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got.
Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot.
Wouldn't you like to get away?
Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name,
and they're always glad you came.
You wanna be where you can see,
our troubles are all the same
You wanna be where everybody knows
Your name.
You wanna go where people know,
people are all the same,
You wanna go where everybody knows your name.
And finally, my alum speech:
To our newest sisters: NOW is the time to join in! If you do not already have a position, run for one in the fall. Decide now what you want to do in 3 years and then pick the route that will get you there! Not everyone wants to be president, which is good because not everyone can be. But everyone should strive to be a leader in this chapter. Even if you are simply leading being our most active sister, people will see that and recognize your commitment to Delta Phi Epsilon.
To our Alpha Pis: I have gotten the opportunity to get to know how amazing you girls are. To those that I see on a regular basis: you are on the right track to becoming amazing leaders for this chapter. To the ones who I wish I saw more of: it is NEVER too late to become active! I’ve seen sisters decide to rededicate themselves to the chapter in the spring, and then in the fall become our chapter president! (Yes I know, I should have been gone a long time ago…)
To my “older” sisters: It’s weird to call you guys older sisters… I’ve seen you move from scared new members who were completely overwhelmed by everything that the chapter is comprised of, to now being the leaders of this chapter that our new classes look up to.
To my alumnae (most of whom here today initiated after me…): Thank you for coming today. All of you are perfect examples that sisterhood truly is for a lifetime, and I cannot wait to grow old with all of you and become those old ladies that come back to alumnae events and talk about how the chapter USED to be when WE were in. Oh wait, we already do that….
To the current leadership team: I could not have handpicked better people’s hands to be leaving the chapter in. Each and every one of you are amazing in your own way, and if you do not allow yourselves to get discouraged, you will do wonders for this chapter and take it to new levels that would wouldn’t have dared dream of when I initiated 5 years ago.
To the coordinators: Look up to these people. Take their knowledge and wisdom and use it. They have been there before; they know the ropes, use them! And like I told the leadership team, do not get discouraged! As I’ve always said, if only 5 people show up to your event that is all the more reason to enjoy yourself, because you are with the 5 most dedicated sisters in this chapter!
To everyone else: You are the fabric that holds this chapter together! Never think that just because you do not hold a position that you are not important, because it is not true, you are the MOST important! If it were not for the general members of this chapter, who would the coordinators be planning the events for? It’s YOU that they go through all of the trouble for! Please take advantage of their hard work and show them that it was worth it!
There is a reason why I have our motto tattooed onto my body, I believe that our motto is the essence of Delta Phi Epsilon and should be everything that our chapter, as well as us individually strive for in our daily lives. Esse Quam Videri: To BE rather than to SEEM to be. Think about it…
A wise sister once told me that it is only possible to get out of Delta Phi Epsilon what you put into it. You cannot expect to fully comprehend the wonderfulness that is this chapter if you do not come around to see it. In my experience, everything that you put into this chapter will come back to you 10 fold, I promise.
<3
Monday, December 15, 2008
Where Everybody Knows Your Name
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Pink - Glitter In The Air
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
99 Things About Me!!!
Michelle inspired me to make a list of 99 things that you may or may not know about ME! :)
1. I've played the piano since I was 10. In Canada they have different grade levels that you can progress through once you get pretty good, and I got through grade 2 before we moved here. I tried to take lessons once we moved here, but I couldn't find a teacher that I liked....
2. I LOVE HOCKEY!!! Like, SOOOO much! I especially love KSU hockey games, because you can get RIGHT up to the glass and see everything up close! They were better back in the day when we could bring our bubba keg's full of alcohol in though... but oh well! (yes kids, its our fault that they check you on your way in now. sorry!)
3. I would rather watch a movie than TV any day. Television shows aren't long enough for me to completely loose myself, but with a movie I can get totally captivated and immerse myself in another world
4. I HAVE to multi task. I can't just sit and watch TV or a movie or anything really, I have to be on my computer or talking or something else. I have no idea why this is... maybe because I feel like I'm wasting my life away even more if I'm only doing one thing? who knows...
5. is my favourite number. I have no idea why, it just is. Deal :P
6. Naps. I LOVE THEM. Enough said...
7. I love food, and I'll eat pretty much anything... Except Olives, Mustard, Cheetos & Ginger... lol
8. I also really like alcohol. And not just the effects of alcohol either, the taste of it! My favourite drink would have to be our hockey drink :) My favourite beer is Labatt...
9. Rock Concerts are amazing. The feeling of the music pulsating through my body gives me shivers. From Buckcherry, to the Eagles some of my most memorable moments have been at concerts. I LOVE them!
10. I'm obsessed with books. Cracking open a new book is the most amazing feeling ever. The smell, mmmmm.... One day, I plan to have a massive library full of books that I have read. Which leads me to my next point...
11. If you would ask me to describe my ideal room, it would be a library. Not just any library though, picture the one in Beauty & the Beast, only on a slightly smaller scale. It would have those ladders that you can roll around on, plush soft carpet, big leather couches, those chairs that have ottomans built into them, and an amazing grand piano. *sigh* THAT is heaven!
12. I'm a photographer. I have no idea why, but for some reason taking pictures fills a certain void in my life that can't be filled any other way. I'm glad that I have my car back, bc I really want to drive to a waterfall somewhere in north GA and just take pictures all day. I need a new/better camera though... hmmmmmm...
13. I have one tattoo (Esse Quam Videri on my foot with a butterfly. Google it, it will change your life), and 4 or 5 more planned out (cross between my shoulder blades, treble clef on the back of my right ankle, "This too shall pass" in Hebrew on my right wrist, and a maple leaf somewhere, dunno where yet). All I need is some moolah.
14. I've recently become obsessed with reading blogs, I do this through RSS feeds, which are a REALLY cool way for me to know when they update without having to actually check them all regularly. Most of the blogs I read are about blackberrys and photography. I know, I'm obsessed
15. I love my blackberry. I would be lost without it, both literally and figuratively
16. I am Canadian. This may not seem like a big deal to some people, but to me it is. To say its not a big deal, is like saying the fact that you're an American means nothing. It does. It's where I come from, my culture, and in so many ways who I am.
17. I love photo comments on facebook. When I upload new pictures and the next day have 72 new notifications because people have been tagging and commenting all night, the feeling is amazing. I think it's because it means that people have been looking at my pictures, and obviously enjoying them or else they wouldn't bother wasting their time on them.
18. I have NO idea what I want to do with my life. I have a pretty good idea what I DON'T want to do, but there are about 15 different career paths that I would be completely happy pursuing. I tried just picking one a couple of years ago, but it turned out that there were other things I wanted to do more. I just don't know what I want to do MOST, and I probably never will...
19. I seriously have some form of ADD. I can't concentrate on any one thing for more than 5 minutes. For example, right now I'm doing this, checking facebook, watching a movie, talking to Kyla & chatting with 3 people... I'm thinking about starting a survey. lol
20. I think that all of the above is to distract myself from life, and from thinking. This is probably not good, oh well...
21. I'm a sister of Delta Phi Epsilon. This is important on many levels. For one, I'm in a sorority, which is weird because a year before I rushed I didn't even really know what a sorority was, and if you had told me I probably would have laughed at the thought of me joining one. This is also important, because I chose Delta Phi Epsilon. Granted, I only really had 2 choices at Kennesaw, but I seriously love everything about my sorority. The values and ideals of acceptance and love etched into that which is DphiE are 100% aligned with everything that I believe and stand for. Example: DphiE's motto is Esse Quam Videri (seriously, if you haven't looked it up yet DO IT!)
22. My favourite movie is Empire Records. As with most things, I'm not 100% sure why. I think it's because, like Warren, I secretly want to work in a record store. Wouldn't that be an awesome job? to be surrounded by music constantly?
23. I love music. Music can be so many different things to so many different people. It can be an energiser, a relaxer, your best friend & a counselor. But mostly it can be an escape, which is what it is for me. So often the lyrics and music of a song can explain my every thought and feeling so deeply that it's as if I wrote it myself. Even though there is no way that I could ever even begin to try to express myself as clearly as music can on my own
24. I think its funny when people try to be "deep." Seriously, stop freaking trying so hard and actually do something useful and meaningful with your life! We all know who I'm talking about. Btw, by stating this I am in no way trying to discount your feelings.
25. No body ever listens to me. Seriously. Okay, maybe not EVER. But seriously, I constantly have to repeat myself to everyone. Don't bother asking me a question if you're not going to listen to the reply, okay? Because you're not worth my time
26. I'm a Christian. I hate that this is #26, why did I just think of it? I struggle every day to make this #1 in my life. No excuses.
27. I love to look at the stars. Ever since I was little, I remember looking at the stars with my Dad when camping, and driving out of the city to go watch meteor showers. To this day, every time I step outside at night I look up, it's like a reflex. I think the vastness of the universe is mind boggling. How could anyone look up, take a deep breath, and possibly state that there is no God? You want proof? look up!
28. I love hummus. Thank you for introducing it to me in Panhellenic meetings Amber!
29. I think that Panhellenic is amazing. I mean, just simply what it stands for. Sororities putting aside their differences to come together and work out different problems or issues that they may have. It goes right along with Greek life in general, "From the outside looking in you could never understand it, from the inside looking out you could never explain it." So very VERY true...
30. This election is making me feel stupid. Normally (because of my former major) I'm WAY more educated about politics and current issues than the average person, but this election (mostly because I'm SO over it) a random person walking down the street knows more than me. Or, at least they think they do, they're probably wrong, but I can't prove it because I really have no idea either. Even if I KNOW they're wrong, I cant prove it... GAH! lol
31. I type lol too much. Here's a secret, if i type "lol" I'm probably not, but if I type "haha" then I probably actually did :)
32. My preferred mode of communication is IM, I think this is mostly because of my need to multi-task
33. My best friend in the whole world is Lauren Hunnicutt. Why you might ask? Because she gets me. And even when she doesn't, she doesn't force me to explain myself, she just lets me be. She knows when I need a hug, and when to leave me alone. She's probably one of the only people still reading this. She laughs at my jokes, no matter how lame they are. She sticks around even though most of the time I treat her like crap and don't appreciate all that she has done for me. She is everything that a best friend should be.
34. I HATE celebrity gossip. Seriously. If you MUST talk about someone else, at least get some friends that you can talk about... Although, I hate that kind of gossip to. All gossip sucks. Drama is equally obnoxious "Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
35. I love Quotes. All kinds. Beyond photographs, I think quotes are the best way to capture a slice of a moment forever. So many people get all caught up in going about their daily lives, that they never really take a moment to stop and reflect upon what they are actually doing. I actually used to carry around a sticky notepad to write down everything that my friends said that made me laugh, or that I thought was insightful, to save for future reference, and in many cases blackmail. Now I just save it in my blackberry.
36. 2005 was my favourite year so far. That was the year of hockey, Taffar's first new years party, the first Greek week, the first ever Canada Day celebration, Kyla got her GED, I was an Alpha Theta, I bawled in front of the chapter for like an hr on bid day, I turned 21 (I know, I'm old...), that trip to IHOP, Shawn & Jaclyn came for Christmas. GOOD YEAR!!!
37. Dusk is my favourite time of the day. In Canada it lasts for HOURS! It's that magical time when the day's over, but the night hasn't quite started yet. LOVE IT!
38. I love Autumn, aka hoodie weather. It's so cozy :)
39. For some reason I always try to stay up as late as I possibly can every night. It could be because if I go to bed before I'm about to pass out I'll lie there for hours and hours upon end, way longer than it would have taken for me to actually be tired. It could also be because "what's the point in going to bed, if there's no point in waking up?" ~ Taylor, The O.C.
40. I hate when people critique art. Who are you to say that the artist's vision is right or wrong? That's how they were feeling at that point in time. Maybe it's YOU that needs to change.
41. I have one sister, Kyla. I really feel sorry for people who are only children, because I cannot imagine life without her! No matter how annoying she can get sometimes, life would be SO boring without her! Love you Kyla!
42. Although it may not seem like it to the average onlooker, I really like school and learning! One of my long term goals is to get a doctorate. Now, at the rate I've been going this will probably take a long time, but I'm okay with that. A doctorate is a level of prestige and respect that very few people have actually reached. I want that. I want to show people that I'm not worthless. I want to reach the highest level of formal education possible in a subject.
43. I love Friends (the TV show). It cracks me up the way no other show is able to.
44. I grew up watching The Young & the Restless. I remember when the characters running the show now (Victoria, if any of you watch it...) were little and fell into the pool and almost died. I remember when the characters had crazy 80s hair. And I do not think this is sad :P
45. I have 6141 songs in my iTunes. Needless to say, I'm obsessed with music of all kinds. I would die without it in my daily life. I think I said this already though...
46. I apparently feel the need to explain myself in great detail. That's probably why this has taken me a few days to complete. It could also be because I keep getting distracted... who knows...
47. I don't really like Television. Lately I've had it on in the background, which i guess is alright. But overall if anyone else is in the room with me I would rather have the TV off because its so distracting, and thus a hindrance to conversation. Lauren and me have a theory, that this is because growing up I was limited to how much TV i could watch, so when I DID watch TV it was important so I put all effort into actually watching it. On the other hand, she grew up with it always in the background, so she is able to function better with it in the background.
48. I have 12 unnatural holes in my head. Most are just regular holes, but 2 are part of my industrial, and 1 is in my tongue. Although, by the time I actually get done with this I will probably have taken out my tongue ring. I've had it for over 5 years, but I think it's time to move on with life. Besides, as Lauren says when I get my next tattoo having 2 tattoos is just as bad ass as having my tongue pierced. Although, that's not BA at all. So yea, long story short (or at least not any longer) its over rated... lol
49. 1/2 done! yay! I'm turning this into a point by stating that I have to break tasks down into smaller tasks in order for me to get anything done, because then I feel a sense of completion, thus encouraging me to continue on.
50. I would do pretty much anything for a free Tshirt. Free food's up there too.
51. I cannot stand change, unless I am in control of every minute of it. Even then it's very unsettling. This is an issue since we're in the process of getting the house ready to sell, because I feel like my entire life is in limbo. Melodramatic, I know...
52. I like my music LOUD
53. I refuse to ever grow up. Not in an avoiding responsibility sort of way, but if I drive by a park and have a free minute, I'm going to stop and swing. If I get the urge to jump into the pool at 3am fully clothed, I will. This will NEVER change (if I can help it, which I can...)
54. I love parks. Specifically, Swift-Cantrell Park because it's amazing. It has everything that you could have ever imagined a park to be, plus more!
55. I collect Archie comics. Or at least, I used to...56. I don't embarrass easily. My "most embarrassing moment" is one of the only ones that I have. It happened about 3 (?) years ago on the "terrace" by the student center at KSU. 96.1 was there giving stuff away, and I had whatever the requirements to get free CDs was in my purse, so I ran to get it, and slipped on some mud and landed on my butt. Wouldn't have been so bad, if the dude didn't ask me over the speakers if I was alright...
57. You wouldn't think it based upon this post, but I don't like talking about myself. If you have any questions, ask and I'll tell you, but I will hardly ever initiate a conversation about myself...
58. I use air quotes frequently when I talk.
59. I have music ADD. This annoys Lauren when I'm being iPod DJ in her car, but I don't care :P
60. I think it's really cool when people can write their own music, and I'm jealous. That is a true talent, and not something that can be learned or taught. Good for you guys!
61. My favourite colour is Carribean Blue, but I love all BRIGHT colours. In related news, I HATE pastels....
62. I'm pretty addicted to facebook, and I'm okay with that!
63. I'm also addicted to MySpace surveys... I'm okay with that too :)
64. I collect postcards from my friends/family when they travel around the world (or just to the next state over). Send me one!!!
65. I really want to learn how to play guitar, bass to be specific. I have wanted to learn for over 3 years now. In fact, I told Lauren yesterday that I'm probably going to be 80 and still wanting to learn. I would teach myself tonight, but I would need a guitar to do that.... In related news, guys that sing guitar are HOT! It's a pretty well agreed upon fact that the hotness rating goes up by at least 2 points just by adding guitar playing abilities. One more point if you sing while playing.
66. I love trivia at restaurants/bars, but hate playing Trivial Pursuit.
67. I collect coasters. There's a fancy term for this that I read in a bathroom stall at a club once and txt to Lauren, but I don't remember what it is... I even tried googling it, but to no avail....
68. If I'm talking to you and I dont know what something you mention is, I pretend that I do and then google it later. If I'm online I google it right then.
69. heehee. I think this would be a good time to mention that I get told I have the mind of a 13 year old quite often.... oh well!
70. I am a creature of habit. I do the exact same thing every morning when getting ready. And, as i realized at Highlands last night, I use the exact same bathroom stall every time i go there. I know, TMI... oh well! deal :P
71. I announce when I have to pee. Pretty much every time... lol
72. I randomly break into song quite often. I always have a song stuck in my head, and that's normally the song that I burst into. Quite often I rewrite the lyrics to fit whatever I'm doing. I'm lame, i know :)
73. For someone who's never been in an actual relationship, a lot of people come to me for relationship advice. I think I give pretty good advice too!
74. I LOVE boxed sets. Movies, TV shows, whichever. They just make me happy!
75. When a problem comes along, you must whip it! Whip it good! Raising Helen is a good movie :)
76. I love my blackberry, it keeps me organized and in contact with every single person I know in every single way possible. What more could you want???
77. I think that people who swear in every day conversation are the #1 most uneducated sounding people that there are. Do you not know any other words to express how you feel? I mean seriously...
78. I'm passive aggressive. I think it's hilarious when driving and you're riding my tail to try to make me go faster, it just makes me drive slower, and sometimes I even do a break check. It's hilarious. I LOVE to piss off people who are already pissed off!
79. I love Post Secret. I try to hold off checking the blog as long as I can on Sundays, and I savor every single postcard. If you haven't experienced it yet, go to http://www.postsecretcommunity.com/ and click on the hand that says Sunday Secrets. It will change your life.
80. I really want to move away from here for a year, and really experience life. I'm too scared to do this though. I need my safety net for when things get bad, because they always get bad. Anyone want to come with me? You can pick the place. I'm serious.
81. "Our scars remind us, that the past is real. I tear my heart open, just to feel" ~ Papa Roach, Scars
82. I grew up on Windsong Place. Doesn't the name just sound happy? I met some amazing life long friends there. We had a band, a crack in the street that looked like a sperm, a bird named Jitter (which we named our band after), a tire swing, plans for a secret city under the street, UFO sightings, and much more that I could never fit here. And when I moved, they brought out their sleeping bags and slept at the foot of my driveway so that we couldn't leave. They eventually moved, and as we drove off then ran behind us off our street and down the next one. It was at that moment that I was suddenly no longer a kid, I had to grow up. I miss them, I miss my childhood. But then, don't we all?
83. There are almost 7 BILLION people living on the planet right now. Sometimes I think about that and it boggles my mind (yes, I said boggles). When I'm in a large crowd, I can hardly even comprehend the few thousand people that I'm with. It's weird to think that there are that many people thinking their own thoughts and living their own lives. Isn't it simply amazing? Wow.
84. Sometimes when sitting in traffic I wonder how many of the cars that I pass I see every single day and don't even notice. I think about that when I'm walking through the halls at KSU, etc. How many of those people do/did I walk by every single day week after week and not even notice?
85. People recognize me very easily, and I think its weird. I would say that it's because I'm 6'2, but it's people that I only ever see when sitting down, like the waiter at Highlands who never IDs me, or the Waffle House lady (and I don't even go to Waffle House that often!). I think it's weird, because they don't recognize the people I'm with 1/2 of the time... hmmmm.
86. There's something about going to Waffle House at 2am that just makes me happy.
87. My 2 favourite restaurants are Macaroni Grill (REALLY sad the one on Barrett isn't there anymore!) & Fuji Hana. I think part of the reason I like Fuji Hana so much (besides the Japanese ketchup) is because of one of their chefs, Julio, who always goes out of his way to say hi to us, even if he's not cooking for use that day. It makes us feel special :) I think another big part of it is all of the history and memories we have there. NO DICK?!?!?! lol. good times!
88. I love taking naps. In fact, I've been known to revolve my day around when I'll be able to take a nap... You could say that I'm a nap addict... mmmmm, sleeeeep....
89. I would rather do yardwork than housework.
90. I've been to 17 States: Georgia, North Dakota, South Dakota, Washington, Florida, North Carolina, South Carolina, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, Tennessee, Kentucky, Illinois, Missouri, Iowa, Wisconsin, Minnesota
91. I totalled my first car. It was a '99 Firebird convertable. Red. It was amazing :(
92. I'm a lot like my dad, we both have the exact same weird sense of humour. It drives my mom up the wall... For example, he just kicked me, and then said "I just couldn't resist the urge to kick you, sorry." Weirdo... I crack myself up, haha.
93. I love musicals. I think life should be a musical, and every time I broke into song everyone would start dancing and join in. Yes. That would be amazing!
94. Dane Cook is amazingly funny. Not to mention ridiculously good looking... :P
95. Me & Lauren quote Austin Powers all of the time in everyday conversation. If you haven't seen the movies, you may not realise we're doing it... Especially since we rewrite them sometimes... I mean, who throws a shoe, really? lol (I threw a shoe at Lauren's head once...)
96. I can't decide if I want to become an American. If I do, the only reason will be to make travel easier when I eventually move. Yes, it's going to happen. Start getting used to the idea now...
97. I'm pretty obsessed with Puff Paint. The only thing better are Paint Pens (the ones by sharpie). With the 2 in hand, the possibilities are ENDLESS!!! lol
98. I can't stand Dr. Phil. The only people who actually think he's smart are the retards that can't think for themselves. All he does is point out the obvious! Although, I suppose that's the case with pretty much all psychiatrists. At least in my experience....
99. I feel like this one should be important, because those of you who are just skimming will be rejoining me now... I miss quarterlife. If you've never seen the show, go to quarterlife.com and watch the show, you won't regret it! Especially if you're feeling the way most of the people I know have been lately...
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Thursday, October 9, 2008
I HAVE MY CAR BACK!!!!
After over 7 MONTHS, I FINALY have my car back!!! As you can tell, I am VERY excited about this!!! Of course, I can't really drive it until at next friday because I can't afford to get the tag registered until I get paid again... but oh well, I'll live. Until then I've been driving Kyla to school (the engine went in her car) and I swear in the 2 10 minute trips I've seen like 8 cops today alone! I'm not TOO concerned, bc I have the repair bill in my car so they should let me off if I tell them I'm on my way to get my emissions done or something like that, but that line will only work SO long. I really need an oil change too (the oil is like 9 months old...) so there's another $20... blah!
But I'm going to stay positive. Because I LOVE driving my car! and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel :) its surreal...
Sunday, September 7, 2008
I'm so confused
I feel like there's something in me that's trying to escape. Something that I have to say RIGHT NOW, but I don't know what it is... I'm about to burst.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
i refuse to ever have to miss you!
alright, so my parents have decided that they're moving into a smaller house (more on this later, bc that's a novel in itself...)
I've been going through old stuff in my room deciding what i want to throw away and keep (im keeping more than what im getting rid of. shocker, i know...). I just came across some old letters from my friends in winnipeg that they had sent me when I first moved. it sucks that we have lost touch. with the amazingness that is facebook I am now at least able to stay updated on what is going on with their lives, but that's SO not good enough... its pretty insane really.
but yea, reading over these I remember how VERY amazing they were/im sure still are! I had some awesome friends! I think this is where my pessimism comes from when I look at my friends now. I KNOW that no matter how great of friends you are thats things happen, we'll part ways. some of us already have. I miss you guys. I WILL FIGHT FOR YOU. we MUST stay in contact! for serious ya'll! lol... but yea, I'm sorry to those who I have told (wrongly) that we prob wont be friends in 10 years, because we WILL be! my kids will call you auntie (yes, because they're MY kids so they're saying it my way!) and they will be best friends forever because WE are! i'm so lame... gotta love me! haha
the internet is a pretty amazing thing though, isnt it? most people have never, and may never experience the way the internet is able to keep people together, but i have first hand. 10 years ago if michelle and colleen had moved we would have had to write to them to stay in contact (trust me, it was 9 years ago i moved, i did this). we would prob still be writing at this point. but, then life would happen. we'll write back next week, okay, DEF next week! this is what happens. BUT, instead I talked to michelle a few hrs ago, and colleen last night! and even if we dont actually talk all that much, I can still stalk the crap out of them on facebook! lol
so anyways, im going to go back to digging up 100 memories (some of which i cant remember, which makes me sad) and living in my past, not because I want to, because I have to and because I can (which i am SO very thankful for!)
peace out home slices :)
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Thanks for being there for me!
so, lately (aka, this weekend... lol) I've been pretty obsessed with theme songs, lol. Lauren thinks im strange. basically, i got some random song stuck in my head while tubing (that i cant remember what it was, so obviously it meant a lot to me... lol) that i decided was my theme song. actually, funny story, bc i was singing it (pretty loudly) and then announced to the group that it was my theme song (wait! i remember! it was All I Wanna Do by Sheryl Crow) and then i sat up and there were a TON of people behind us that all heard me, lol. it was HILARIOUS :) yet, slightly embarrasing... lol. anyways, a few hours later what i decided was Kacee's from a year agoish came on the radio :)
dont worry, the extremely boring part of the story's over, lol
now the less boring part, aka the point :) i use smilies a little too much... oh well!
I've been watching the 7th season of friends for the past few days (i know, im lame)... and i decided that right now it's theme song I'll Be There For You by the Rembrandts. it's so perfect! here are the lyrics (although, everyone probably knows them...)
The Rembrandts - I'll Be There for You
So, no one told you life was gonna be this way.
Your Job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A.
It's like you're always stuck in second gear.
And it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year.
But -
I'll be there for you ... when the rain starts to fall.
I'll be there for you ... like I've been there before.
I'll be there for you ... cause you're there for me, too.
You're still in bed at ten and work began at eight.
You've burned your breakfast, so far everything is great.
Your mother warned you there'd be days like these.
But she didn't tell you when the world has brought you down to your knees.
That -
I'll be there for you ... when the rain starts to fall.
I'll be there for you ... like I've been there before.
I'll be there for you ... cause you're there for me, too.
Friday, June 27, 2008
im scared
im scared
i want to move home
but thats just trying to escape to my childhood
i know this
i'll see how this summer goes,
maybe i wont come back
dont be too shocked
stupid naysayers
saying that i cant get what i want
if you want it, you can make it happen
thats what i tell my friends
lauren, michelle
i force them to follow their dreams and goals
push them
why dont i tell that to myself?
because im scared
i try to learn from other's mistakes
it saves me the trouble
maybe some lessons cant be learned,
you have to find them out on your own
but im scared
what am i running from?
life is awesome here
i have a supportive family (God know that!)
AMAZING friends (irreplacable!)
yet, somethings missing.
i dont know, we'll see what happens...
Saturday, June 21, 2008
This Is Your Life
So, the following song came on my iTunes this afternoon while I was sitting around do absolutely nothing productive at all (well, I tagged some pictures on facebook that Kacee had been nagging me to tag, but that hardly counts). ANYWAYS... This song really spoke to me. I need to start making steps towards my future, because if I sit around and just wait for my life to happen it will pass me by, and I'm not okay with that. I need to finish my degree. Any degree will do really... Maybe I'll look into just how many more classes I need to be a photography major? Gotta love catch 22s though, just how I need a car to make money to get my car fixed, I also need a degree to make the money that I need to pay for the degree. I'm seriously going to look into getting another loan though, because EVERY job requires some sort of college degree (imagine that, right? lol). oh well, I took out the repeating parts that were at the end of the song, so enjoy :)
SWITCHFOOT "This Is Your Life"
yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead
yesterday is a promise that you've broken
don't close your eyes, don't close your eyes
this is your life and today is all you've got now
yeah, and today is all you'll ever have
don't close your eyes
don't close your eyes
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Audio Adrenaline - Will Not Fade
I will not fade
I won't let my light go out
I will not masquerade
I know who I am, and what my purpose is all about
For all these years
I've traveled on
And you have cheered,
Shine on, shine on
What I am
And who I am
Is never gonna change
The hits will come
But I will not be swayed
I've always been
What I am
The world can clearly see
I won't fade away
There is no life
That I would rather live
I will continue on
Until you take me home
I don't run
When stormy skies appear, I pray
Oh the power
I possess when skies turn black
I still burn
The light's on
What I am
And who I am
Is never gonna change
The hits will come
But I will not be swayed
I've always been
What I am
The world can clearly see
I won't fade away
What I am...
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Kansas - Dust in the Wind
I close my eyes
Only for a moment, then the momen't gone
All my dreams
Pass before my eyes, a curiosity
Dust in the wind
All they are is dust in the wind
Same old song
Just a drop of water in an endless sea
All we do
Crumbles to the ground, though we refuse to see
Dust in the wind
All we are is dust in the wind, ohh
Now, don't hang on
Nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky
It slips away
And all your money won't another minute buy
Dust in the wind
All we are is dust in the wind
All we are is dust in the wind
Dust in the wind
Everything is dust in the wind
Everything is dust in the wind
The wind
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Muse "Starlight"
Far away
This ship is taking me far away
Far away from the memories
Of the people who care if I live or die
Starlight
I will be chasing the starlight
Until the end of my life
I don't know if it's worth it anymore
Hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold
You in my arms
My life
You electrify my life
Let's conspire to re-ignite
All the souls that would die just to feel alive
But I'll never let you go
If you promised not to fade away
Never fade away
Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations
Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations
Hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold
You in my arms
Far away
This ship is taking me far away
Far away from the memories
Of the people who care if I live or die
And I'll never let you go
If you promise not to fade away
Never fade away
Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations
Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations
Hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold
You in my arms
I just wanted to hold
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
The conscious brain can only hold one thought at a time. Choose a positive thought. ~ Lululemon Manifesto
John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"
He was a natural motivator.
If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.
Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and asked him, "I don't get it!"
"You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"
He replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or...you can choose to be in a bad mood. I choose to be in a good mood."
Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it.
Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or...I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.
"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.
"Yes, it is," he said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood.
You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life."
I reflected on what he said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.
Several years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower.
After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.
I saw him about six months after the accident.
When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins...Wanna see my scars?"
I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.
"The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter," he replied. "Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or...I could choose to die. I chose to live.."
"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked.
He continued, "...the paramedics were great.
They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take action."
"What did you do?" I asked.
"Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me," said John. "She asked if I was allergic to anything 'Yes, I replied.' The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Gravity'"
Over their laughter, I told them, "I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."
He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude...I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.
Attitude, after all, is everything.
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34.
After all today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
UN-TV
So, last night me and Caitlin were working on her sociology project, the "un-tv" or "zen tv" experiment. Basically what you do, is watch the television for 1/2 an hr without turning it on, and then write down your thoughts... Instead, I kept a journal during the process (it was boring), and here it is:
Tara’s Profound TV Thoughts!
- The entire room is centered around the TV.
- Lots of uses: Wii, DVDs, Nintendo
- The room is quiet!
- I’m comfortable.
- Riley’s confused about why we’re just sitting here.
- A TV by itself is pretty boring.
- I have trouble not multi-tasking in a world that has so much going on at all times.
- Weird how people get so caught up in material items.
- Even Riley wishes the TV were on.
- It’s kind of sad how we rely on the TV in many ways as our only connection with the outside world.
- The TV is like the center of the whole apartment, why is that? Why do we concentrate so much on a piece of electronics? It’s not even that pretty.
- Riley just left the room; he thinks we’re boring.
- Weird how when it’s on, I’m completely sucked in like there’s nothing else in the world, but with it off it’s brought to my attention how utterly boring it is.
- I feel lazy, like I should be doing something more productive than just sitting around staring at the TV.
- It’s like a 30 minute long commercial, to where you’re not really paying attention to it, but you are because you’re waiting for your show to come back on, or for something to happen. (Caitlin)
- My mom used to use a TV as a babysitter, so this relates back to my childhood where I can stare at the TV for hours and not get distracted. (Caitlin)
- Riley finally realized we’re not going to do anything and calmed down.
- I feel like it just keeps getting bigger and bigger as I’m sucked in.
- It’s almost like it doesn’t have to be on to be entertaining. What does that say about me? I don’t normally use TV for entertainment; I use it as background noise. This is kind of like background sight. (Caitlin)
- Sylvania. That’s a weird TV brand. I’ve never heard of that. That’s what you get for “buying the Brandsmart way” (Caitlin)
- Caitlin’s had this TV for at least a year, how has she not heard of it?
- This would be harder if it was my computer because I actually use that actively while the TV is more in the background. (Caitlin)
- I couldn’t do it with my computer.
- I’m bored. A round TV would be cool! It could be formatted to fit this screen! Everyone would be taller and skinnier on my circle TV! (Caitlin)
- Shh, Riley! I’m watching TV! (Caitlin)
- Know what I think the point of this is? (C) To point out how stupid a TV is? (T) Yes! Because no one would sit in front of a TV for 30 minutes with it not turned on, but why would you sit there with it turned on? That’s retarded. I’m throwing my TV away. (C)
- I actually hate TV a lot. It’s a hindrance to active conversation and thought.
After the experiment was done, I actually didnt want the TV turned on even more than usual. I suppose I just really enjoy the silence that there is without the TV on, especially since when the TV's on it's really hard to carry on an active meaningful conversation...
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Think outside of the box once in a while, k? thanks...
I had a really good conversation with my dad today, I love talking to him about random stuff. Normally I agree with him, and sometimes I dont, which I'm beginning to learn is alright. Me and my dad dont ALWAYS have to agree, we just normally happen to.
Here are some of the insights we decided on. All of them have sound reasoning to back them up, because we dont just go throwing around ideas just for shits and giggles... (that is, unless it says maybe, then we're just throwing around ideas. Not unlike how Darwin came up with his theories...) Also, consider this fair warning that you may not like what you're about to read, but I listen to EVERYTHING you have to say, whether I agree with it or not. So hear us out, k?:
1. Maybe God created monkeys first, and then decided they weren't good enough, so he modeled man after that. This would explain the similar DESIGN, but that we're so much better.
2. Dont you think that if God were to decide to create a universe, that he would do it with a bang?
3. Atheism takes much more faith to uphold than ANY religion. For me, simply shaking my hand in the air is proof that there is a God. Because seriously, isnt it cool that you can just decide to do that and your arm does it? insane! And that's just shaking my arm :) conscience thought is a WHOLE different ball game... Not to mention that Darwin's THEORY of evolution was so far fetched that even HE admitted that the chances of that happening are slim...
4. God made this earth for us to use right? So MAYBE his plans are for us to use up this world, and then he'll come get us and take us to heaven where we dont have to worry about trees and fresh air. Dont get me wrong, I still think EVERYONE should recycle. NOW! Might as well make this earth all it can be while we're stuck here, right?
5. The thought that we have SO much control over the earth that we can cause the ice caps to melt and everything to fall apart is pretty conceited. Don't you think that if it would seriously cause problems that God would intervene? We're coming out of an ICE AGE people! The earth has been getting warmer every year because we're not frozen anymore! And besides, even if the earth WERE to melt, it would only destroy cities that shouldnt have been built in those locations, had we been REALLY thinking. Whose bright idea was it to build below sea level? and on swamp land? definitely not MINE anyways...
6. Another example of conceited humans: Right now my dad's reading "Case for a Creator" by Lee Strovel, which compares (how do you spell that?) the big bang THEORY to a mouse trap. Basically, there are 6 parts to a mouse trap (just 6, not the inconceivable amount that make up the universe). The chances that over time these 6 parts would come together to the same place and get shaken up to where they happen to fall into their correct spots, get set up, and catch a mouse are SO slim, I cant even imagine that it's possible without some sort of intervention (divine maybe? lol). Not to mention that those pieces had to some how come into existence in the first place!
7. So these people in some technical way that I dont feel like explaining here because you wouldnt read it anyways probably (if you're even still reading) looked into the past (or at least say they did). Here they said they saw that there was a time where physics wasnt like it was now for some unknown period of time, during which the universe was created which makes up for #6. But who's to say that that time period wasn't say, 6 days? lol
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
What I'm too scared to tell you...
Jaci Velasquez - Show You Love
Please forgive me
If I come on too strong
I get a little anxious
When I talk about God's love
Hold me back now
Stop me if I start to preach
'Cause I don't want to be the one
To push you out of reach
The way to give love
Is how you live love
That is what I'll do
You cannot fight it
You can't deny it
Love will get to you
Don't wanna get up in your face
Don't wanna put the pressure on
Don't wanna make you run away
Just wanna show you love
Don't wanna beg you to believe
Don't wanna take you for a ride
Don't wanna sell you anything
Just wanna show you love
Show you love
Just wanna show you love
I won't convince you
With anything I say
But maybe you will see His love
In how it is portrayed
An act of kindness
A loving sacrifice
Simple little things that have
The power to change your life
There's no surprises
And no disguises
Just the blessed truth
No obligation
No complication
Just a gift for you.
Friday, April 11, 2008
Blue Man Group
So, today I was officially introduced to the Blue Man Group by Ty & Becca. Yea, I had heard of them before, duh. Pretty much everyone alive has... But seriously though, their music is amazing! Not only is their show beyond hilarious (yes, i litterally laughed out loud), but the way they take every day things and turn them into art through music is something that i completely admire. There's a flair that Lauren sent me that says "Photography: The talent to capture beauty in things that go unnoticed." That's what the Blue Man Group does, only with music! I loved every second of listening to it :) The music was what you might call orgasimic. seriously. even though i dont think that's a word... I guess I really just love drums and electric guitar, and that's pretty much all that their backup band was... that, and a couple of AMAZING singers! I'm going to go listen to the CD that Ty lent me now... seriously though, go check them out!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Persona by Blue Man Group
Every morning, I put it on
I walk outside, and I am gone
And I don't seem to mind anymore
I can't think what it was like before I wore it all the time
Oh, oh, oh
In the evening, I take it off
But there's another one underneath
And I can't seem to find the bottom of the stack
I might just lose my mind and never get it back
But at least I'll get inside
Oh, oh, oh
At least I'll get inside
Oh, oh, oh, oh
There's a feeling that I get sometimes
It's so small that it's easy to hide
It's like a howling voice from a distant past
It seems I've got no choice when it comes to this
It's building up inside
Oh, oh, oh
It's building up inside
Oh, oh, oh
I'm considering selling my eggs...
I'm so sick of not having a car...!
It's a long story, here's the short version...
October & November: I get 2 tickets about a month apart for having an expired tag, which I do not pay, because I have no money...
December: While riding in Kyla's car, we get rearended. This has nothing to do with me not having transportation, but is car #1 that is totalled while I am in it...
January: Receive notification my tickets are over due, and if I dont pay them soon my license will be suspended (I didnt pay them. Totally my fault, I know...)
February: While driving my car to work it suddenly stops working. The transmission is stuck in a higher gear, and a new one costs $2,600 or $1,600 used... money as I said before I do not have. I start driving my parent's minivan
March: While driving home in I-75 all traffic suddenly stops, and I do not... totalling vehicle #2 (this actually made my mom happy, since they had been wanting to sell it anyways this just saved them the effort...)
So, I'm standing on the side of the road sure that I'm going to get arrested, when the cop comes back and asks if I knew my license was suspended. I dont play dumb, bc I've learned cops hate that, but he takes my license until I pay off my tickets. Thank God!
April: I'm going tomorrow morning to pay off the second ticket (which I had already tried to pay off once, but "didnt show up in their system") and then I will get a new license on saturday.
This will not solve my transportation problem though, because I still have a perfectly lovely car sitting in my driveway undriveable, collecting pollen. Hence, the selling of eggs. I hear it's a long process that involves going to the doctor every day for shots or something though, which would require a car. Oh well... *sigh*
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Stay Informed
I found a really awesome website that has 5 websites a day that they find interesting... really cool!
http://www.thesetoday.com/
It has links to sites like
A History of the Hangover
and
The Inner Workings of Wikipedia
Check it out! :)
Deep Thoughts over Blackjack
Monday, April 7, 2008
Digital Pictures
